Somalia and the Creatures Being Farmed There

So there you have it: there is nothing to see. The epiphenomenon 'Farmaajo' is no longer the 1st minister of the monstrous TFG of Somalia. Although 'Farmaajo' looks like a Somali man, talks like a Somali man, and is apparently beloved by the Somalis at large—the Somalis are not human, so they have no need for a figurehead like 'Farmaajo'.

You see, Somalia is a territory which is currently being exploited by two principle farmers—and I apologise to all conventional farmers for my use of language here—in their quest for greater productivity and enhanced yields in the form of cold hard cash. The principle farmers in question here are known by the names of Museveni and Meles, although they have been known to hide behind the corporate names such as IGAD, the AU, and the 'International Community'.

The farm itself—the bountiful land of Somalia—is so preposterously productive that that our farmers guard it jealously, even from the strange idea that the creatures being farmed (the once proud Somalis) may develop independent thoughts such as thinking about managing their own affairs. You see the Somalis—thinking that they are human—sometimes dream about managing their own affairs. This only amuses the farmers Museveni and Meles—the latter is getting old and has grown rich from his tenure as the chief farmer in the Somali territory. In fact, Meles is still the go to guy with respect to the fine art of getting the best out of the Somali territory: he is famous for giving long lectures on the subject, even though the majority his brutal farmhands had been kicked out of Somalia a few years ago.

The farmers have many devices and tools at their disposal when they are working the fields of Somalia. Their most prized asset is the sheepdog called Mahiga who never tires of herding the Somali sheep on behalf of his farmer masters. Mahiga lives in an opulent kennel, known as UNPOS, which is remarkable for such a low born dog. The wonders of the universe never cease to amaze me—praise be to the Almighty!

The Somalis—being creatures less than human—are often frightened by magic and scarecrows. One famous scarecrow in Somalia is primarily known as Shariif 'Sakiin', although he is known by many other names and designations—including 'nejis nejis dhalay'. Rather perversely, this evil scarecrow is known to work hand in glove with a very famous crow—on the Somali farm—known as Axmed 'Tuke'. Axmed 'Tuke' is the ugly face of the Somali farm. Sadly, for the millions of creatures being processed on the farm Somalia, Axmed 'Tuke' has a mind even uglier than his appearance.

Axmed 'Tuke' began working on the farm Somalia as a bird of a feather with a flock who had brought peace to Mogadishu many moons ago. Now he is the crow who conspires with the scarecrow against all of the creatures on the farm Somalia. How did the this absurdly perverse situation ever be allowed to develop? How did the farmer Meles—who was famously born with a healthy fear of the Somali territory—end up being the chief farmer in Somalia?


More puzzling is how did the the up and coming farmer Museveni manage to employ thousands of thuggish storm-trooper farmhands, known as AMISOM, in Somalia without so much as a whisper from Meles? This is indeed a strange game: an evil game!

The other day, I stumbled across a news report which showed the Somali creatures on the farm being given rations of cooking oil and rice by an agency which is independent of the farmers Museveni and Meles. When I watched this particular news report, I found myself asking, is such a reality really possible? Can the Somali creatures really be liberated from their current state of actual dehumanisation? Can the Somalis one day manage their own affairs? May the Almighty guide us to such freedoms.

It is strange to think that Mogadishu, once the White Pearl of the Indian Ocean, is now home to the shocking farming methodology of the AMISOM storm-troopers being employed by the farmer Museveni. Mogadishu is now the abattoir where the Final Solution for the Somali creatures is most mechanised and efficient. Somali blood is not human blood judging by the work methods of AMISOM. AMISOM is known, and is infamous, for its indiscriminate bombardment of areas of Mogadishu where the Somali creatures seek shelter. AMISOM is very professional: it operates in Mogadishu in order to turn a profit, and nothing else matters to AMISOM commanders. How have the Somalis fallen so low as to be penned in and manipulated by 'adoon' in military dress? Did not some of their grand fathers and great grand fathers fight off the attentions of the military superpowers of the past? How has it come to this?